thanks cari o. for reminding me about using choices in working with toddlers. we had a great day together b/c of it.
i'm curious to know what tools other moms (and dads) have in their parenting toolbox. please leave a comment with a discipline book you have enjoyed reading, or more importantly, found successful. if it's not a book, maybe comment on a technique you have found successful.
5 comments:
I just finished "The Magic of Love and Logic" for kids birth through six years, and I liked its ideas. Choices are the big thing, plus showing empathy instead of anger when kids do something wrong. It also suggests using consequences that logically follow the "crime." Like for throwing a toy, it has to go away. But I haven't figured one out for yelling yet...
I know the main key is being consistent and not giving chances. In the book, they say to give the "rule" or expectation, give one chance, then discipline. This is surprisingly hard.
I think you're doing so many things right with Quade, Heather! Hang in there!
I also have read "THe Magic of Love and Logic" and Erin did a great job summarizing it. I think the older they are the easier it would be to use the ideas. I have also started but not finished "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and "Don't Make Me Count to Three". They seem similar in idea of dealing with the heart issue and the sin but my initial impression is that Shepherding is more old fashioned and strict. On my bookshelf I also have but have not read the "No Cry Discipline Solution" and "The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers". This is such a tough area that changes constantly as our kids go through different developmental stages. I have a feeling we will be dealing with discipline until they are out of the house.
Joel told me yesterday that he read in a medical journal that a strong-willed child may be put in time out (if time-out is the preferred method of discipline) up to TWENTY-ONE times in a day.
I tell you this because I think sometimes you can do everything right but feel like you're doing everything wrong and still need to find "something that works for my child". So my parenting technique that I find most effective is to be confident that someday all the consistency that seems so ineffective at the time, will one day bring reward.
As for books, I guess I reccomend "The Strong-willed Child" but even more helpful to me is
Galatians 6:9
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
I'm sure you can guess I have no books to recommend - However, I've "started" all the ones everyone else has listed and liked Chapter 1 of all of them!
However, the real reason I'm responding is I think we used to layer polos back in the '80's - didn't we? Or maybe it was just me...
I don't read much either, but I did cover sections of "The stong willed child" when I was struggling with Kaila. I love giving choices and letting them feel like they're making the decisions...We have gone several places with different shoes on because Kaila "likes them both"
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