Tuesday, December 1, 2009

sleep, the treadmill and wild things

Here is what's going on in my brain lately (mixed in with some pics of our nutty life)

SLEEP

November was a difficult month for our family. Watts got a bad cold and stopped sleeping well at night. At first i was able to manage getting up 2-3 times a night, but after 3 weeks of severe sleep deprivation it started to show. In addition Bruce was working a lot. He worked until midnight, or even 3:30 am some nights.

During this time I was a wreck...i couldn't hold a conversation with people. I was constantly frustrated with the boys. I don't think i smiled much during that time. I was feeling overwhelmed and hectic. I wanted to drop all commitments and just stay home for the next few years. Bruce and close friends told me that maybe i just needed to get more sleep. Which i think was mostly true...i still felt like i was going, going, going and for no reason (more on this in a second).

The week after Thanksgiving I decided to do a little crying it out with watts. I got 7 hours straight of sleep one night and i woke up feeling like an entirely new woman. I texted friends to apologize for anything i might have done or said in the last few weeks. My brain was suddenly inspired. Sadly it didn't totally "stick" and he is still waking up at least once at night, but i am now very aware of the importance of sleep. =)

bathtime kisses
The TREADMILL
After being in Indiana with my parents and seeing old friends i was struck by how nice it was to not be busy all the time. The pace of life was so much more relaxed than our days here in Dallas. I talked with one friend who made choices for her family so they could spend more time together. I was inpired by her example.

This past Sunday our pastor (neil tomba, northwest bible church) spoke about "The Treadmill". The point of his sermon was that we make a job out of everything. We complicate the holidays, doing more and more. The reasons we do this, he suggested, was our competitiveness and envy. For me i think it is also my desire to make everyone happy. I say "yes" to too many activities. He also said that by staying on the treadmill we rob ourselves of rest and relationship.

Hearing this sermon helped me solidify my thoughts and recognize what changes i needed to make (realistic ones, not drastic, sleep-deprived decisions). I decided that before i say 'yes' to something or before i spend my time doing something i need to ask myself "Is this necessary?" "Does this help or hurt my family relationships?". We are an outgoing, extroverted bunch, so staying home all day, every day would make us all crazy. BUT i do think i need to choose to stay home more and do less.

by staying home things like this happen...a little people parade
WILD THINGS

During Thanksgiving I became frustrated with our boys and our parenting of them. I felt that every couple minutes one of my family members was telling me about something one of my boys had done. The boys seemed like out-of-control crazy men and it was exhausting!

Bruce and I had recently sat down and decided that we were going to focus on 3 main rules for our family: 1) respect authority (obey) 2) respect others (be kind to others) 3) take care of the things God gave us.
It helped me focus my attention on these three things. However, I feel like every day i am repeating these 3 rules a billion times. I discipline all day long and, again, it's exhausting.

I feel like when we are with others at a social gathering or at a friend's house to play that my boys completely forget how to behave, despite being told a thousand times...

Then i found a book on my bookshelf "Wild Things: the art of nurturing boys". Whew did i feel better after this. Boys are just WILD! They make crazy choices that make you scratch your head and say "what were you thinking?". This book has a chapter for each stage of development for boys. The stage my boys (2-4 yrs old) are in is the explorer stage. If you have boys check out this book and feel encouraged that you are not alone!!
my rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
my diaper head
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All in all i've recognized that sleep makes everything better. That i do myself and my family a favor by stepping off the "treadmill" of life. And lastly that it's good to provide rules/boundaries of behavior but ultimately boys need to be boys and i need to set realistic expectations to allow them to be the wild things God created them to be!

9 comments:

Christina said...

i feel ya on missing sleep!!! oh how i want to sleep again! great christmas card!

Erin said...

Amen and amen.

Janel said...

Heather. Sleep is so good, so necessary! I am so much more patient and fun and consistent on discipline when I have enough rest. I think you are so right in wanting to slow down. This age is an age where they are learning so much and discipline is so all of the time, that it is wearing to do much else....especially since you still have a almost month old! Hang in there, girl! I know it will get easier as you adjust to having 3 and get some more sleep. Love ya!

erin said...

mmm, learning some good things from this post! Thanks Heather for being transparent!

Jamie said...

sleep....wish we could bottle it and buy it. glad you're getting more of it:) thanks for your thoughts. I must get that book as well for my wild monkeys:)

tiffanie said...

gosh, we are on the same page (of two very different stories!) http://blakeandtiffanie.blogspot.com/2009/10/confessions-of-busyness.html

i was realizing the same thing about getting off the treadmill. sometimes God just needs to get our attention and say: "Be still."

thanks for sharing, heater!

Pamela said...

:)

Kim Hill said...

So true, Heather. My heart goes out to you. It's great that you and Bruce are being intentional with the boys and as a family and that you're responding to what the Lord is teaching you. And I've found that if I can't get good sleep then at least I can chew gum, and for some odd reason, that makes me a happier person which is good for my family!

MP said...

heather,

seriously..i totally feel you on all the aspects. Although I dont have three yet, I completely get the sleep deprivation, the constant disciplining..and I totally have that book Wild THings!! But, haven't picked it up yet. Great post!!