(i've been processing this topic over the past weeks but today's sermon put it together for me...)
Most parents take pride in their children. right?
BUT...Can pride in your children be wrong?
Do we take pride in our children b/c they are extensions of us and we are really taking pride in ourselves?
Matthew 20:1-16 is the story of a landowner who pays the same amount to workers whether they worked all day or only an hour. Of course the workers who slaved away all day were upset at the "unfairness" of the deal. Some of the workers work less but were paid the same. The ones who worked the longest were unhappy b/c they thought they deserved more. Their pride collided with the grace of the landowner.
As parents we often do the same...we compare our children against other children. We take pride in them if they do something better than another child. We get unhappy if our kids don't measure up to other kids.
In Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis he discusses pride...He states that pride is essentially competitive, you always have more of something than someone else.
We compare our kids to others and are proud that they are smarter, sleep more, eat better, develop faster. Unfortuntely comparison, and the pride that results, makes people miserable. Any mom knows that it feels horrible to be in a conversation with another mom who is bragging about her child and your child doesn't measure up.
Comparison always leads to sin...either pride b/c your child is better or jealousy b/c your child is worse.
I realized in potty training Quade that i was so determined in him succeeding that i was ignoring his needs. As a parent my job is to love and to train him up in the way he should go. It's not to have him perform so i can look good. Once i relaxed and let him be who he was the process was so much more enjoyable.
If i walk in grace, not pride, I will rejoice when other children succeed.
If i walk in grace, not pride, my children can be who they are instead of being who i want them to be so others will be impressed.
If i walk in grace, not pride, i can be happy!
I'm not saying i have this all figured out or that i am walking in grace just yet, but fortunately God has grace on me. I can be happy b/c God is more than fair, He is in charge and generous to all!
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8 comments:
Thanks Heather, great application for today's message. I do struggle with appropriatly being proud of Katherine. Tough one.
I think this is really insightful and inspiring. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks Heather- some great thoughts there...very applicable in light of potty training specifically, I agree:)
Like a breath of fresh air.
Our neighbors' kid is 3 days younger than Tessa. And at barely 3 years old, she is already starting home schooling. Talk about comparing! It's horrid! It makes me crazy even though I try so hard not to compare. Not just comparing the two girls, but comparing us as parents. Thanks for sharing this stuff on your blog Heather. A great reminder to just chill and love the kids for who they are; not who they aren't.
I have thought about this a lot. I tend to be competitive, so this comes up in my mind quite a bit. I have often times wanted to be "the best mom"--which is great if it is for the right reasons and I can be content with what God has given me. Sometimes I am in the grocery store and see a "bad parent" and pat myself on the back. The problem is that it is the kids that are missing out. I should want every body to be "the best parent" for the sake of the kiddos. Afterall, those are the parents of my kids future best friends and spouses.
That is great Heather! Thanks for sharing! I definitely think about this a lot too. I want Faith to be who she is intended to be without me getting in the way. It makes me sad when I do something good for Faith, but then realize part of my intention (even if it was 1% of the reason), was for me. For example, she was throwing things on the floor at a restaurant and I was with my parents. I told her that I would spank her if she did it again. Of course, instead of telling only her, I said it loud enough so my parents could hear (so they knew I wasn't going to let her continue to behave this way). Even though, I took her to a private place to discipline her, I was not private in how I spoke with her, and it was b/c I wanted to look like a good parent. Pure motives is a great thing to strive for in all we do!
Just wanted to say thanks for being real, for sharing the truth you're learning - and challenging me on the way...
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